So I have been waking up ANGRY at my husband. I’m in my second trimester and feeling crazy hormonal, self conscience and well, just plain crazy! This is very different from my last two pregnancies. Mostly I’ve been very jealous. I’ve been having dreams almost every night about my husband cheating on me. Like, vivid dreams…you know…wake up and SWEAR up and down they really happened. So, naturally I wake up and I’m furious with my husband.
Yesterday morning was no different. I woke up fired up! My husband says, “what did I do this time?” I proceeded to tell him every detail.
So we were in a hotel for some kind of business conference going on and we were trying to also use the time away from the kids as a bit of a mini getaway. I was extremely pregnant in my dream…I mean READY TO POP pregnant and we had JUST “done the deed”. This was monumental for me. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I mean if you’ve ever been pregnant you know that especially towards the end you are feeling ANYTHING but sexy and here I was, pregnant with twins, trying to keep the romance alive! Yes, I was very proud of myself. Then, I heard a knock at the door. I went to open it and standing there is this perfectly petite, barbie like blonde chick.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“Ummm, yeah,” she said, “is JD here?”
“Yes, but what business do you have with him?”
“Well,” she said “he gave me his key card earlier today and told me to come see him.”
Just then JD steps out of the bedroom. (we had a suite, because, of course, in my dream we were wealthy and some kind of executives)
“JD, I said, “why does she have a key to our room?”
“I don’t know!” he LIES.
“Oh really?” I replied, then calmly reached down and grabbed the tiny blonde by the ankle, swung her up over my head and slammed her down to the floor.
Yes, In my dream I was extremely strong…even pregnant with twins.
“Babe!” JD yells, “I really don’t know her!”
“OK” I replied. I calmly grabbed the skanks ankle again and this time I went up over head and slammed her down back and forth at least six times. It was easy, I was super hero strong. By this point she’s crying and bleeding…I looked at my husband, his mouth was wide open in disbelief.
“Ok…” he took a deep breath, “I might have slept with her.”
I felt the fire in my eyes, the rage, the hurt and then I heard my alarm.
I looked at my husband trying to make sense of everything I just described to him and I began laughing uncontrollably. (Now my husband is sure I’ve really lost my mind.)
“What?” he asked.
Between breaths I said “I just realized where I’ve seen this before!”
I grabbed my phone and showed him this clip:
I mean it was JUST LIKE THAT! I was slightly less green but basically it was the same scene.
My Husband calmly handed me the phone and said very gently, “honey, you’ve got to stop watching these superhero movies while you’re pregnant.”
Honestly, I can’t be the only one having these kinds of dreams…what are some crazy things you’ve cooked up in your hormonal head?
