So we’re getting the family ready to meet up with my sister in law and her kids at an indoor pool. It’s Mid March in Indiana so we’re all a little stir crazy as global warming continues to play with our emotions by giving us warmer days followed by a polar vortex.
I dug out the girls bathing suits then began the process of combing through my own closet to figure out what to wear. I’m 25 weeks pregnant with the twins at this point and the idea of feeling weightless in a pool sounds worth whatever humiliation I might face.
All of my suits are the typical “mom” suits. High-waisted but trying hard to still be “cute”…well none of those are going to work with this big belly so I dug a little deeper and found ONE, yes ONE suit from pre-baby days. It was the triangle top and somewhat skimpy bottom type suit we all had at one point or another. I kept it around for those “private” sunbathing scenarios.
I tried it on and I can honestly say it was pretty comfortable. I mean there wasn’t much to it so pinching was at a minimum. However, the bottoms didn’t cover my bottom quite like I remember.
After showering me with affirmative compliments of my beauty my husband began rifling through his shorts to try and find some I could wear over top (per my request). It was at this time my 4 year old comes around the corner and sees me step out of the closet.
“Ew!” she exclaimed as she gazed upon the whale before her in horror. She even covered her mouth as if she missed her eyes.
Ew! EW!??? I’ll tell you something missy…YOU too came out of this belly. You added your own array of stretch marks and look at you now! Just BEAUTIFUL. That’s what I thought to myself as I tried to shake it off but the hormones took control.
“Ew?” I said softly as tears flooded my eyes. I couldn’t help it! Suddenly the judgement of a perfectly polished little four year old broke me down! My husband quickly lead the girls in a group hug followed by comments of how beautiful I was. I didn’t let it turn it into a sob fest. I got myself together and moved on but the fact that I broke in the first place, is what stunned me.
Generally speaking I’d say I’m a fairly confident women. I’m quite tall and always stood with my shoulders back…proud of my stature, but this pregnancy has really dampened that “you go girl” attitude.
I don’t remember experiencing this level of self consciousness with my other pregnancies. Sure I was big, but you’re supposed to be…you’re growing humans!!! This time around my mind knows this to still be true but I just can’t seem to get out of my own way. My emotions are unfairly taking over. This is what all those sitcoms joke about with their one liners from pregnant characters. I always thought it was just over exaggerated for comic relief from the unpleasantries of pregnancy…nope…just add it to the list of things we cannot control.
I’m proud to say I wore the suit…without the shorts. I stood in the water just deep enough to feel the pressure lift off those main arteries and gave my legs some relief. I figure the bulging purple veins all down my leg and foot were more horrific than the extra skin I was showing.
Anyone else have these kind of breakdown moments uncharacteristically? Share your scenario!
